the pretty year

Silly? Awesome? Awesomely Silly?

• Teal knit jersey dress from Gap, (last seen here)– $9.99 on clearance
• Awesome purple hat courtesy of the October clothing swap!–$0!
• Purple patent belt from Steven by Steve Madden via Filene’s Basement– $12
• Purple tights… I honestly forget where and when I got them, but I’d bet about $10 I got them for less than $10
• Green slingbacks (last seen here) from Etienne Aigner via Ross– $16.99

Alright, we’re down to the wire here with The Challenge. At this point I’ve got no shame and nothin’ to lose, so I’m letting it fly.

Even in the cold light of posting photos on the Internet, I am going out on a limb and saying this works. Not that I expect anyone to agree with me.

More than anything, this outfit reminds me of one I’m quite sure did not work. See, I was that girl who read fashion magazines starting around age… oh… 9 or so. And I got a pretty decent idea of how to translate editorial looks into real life starting around age… oh, 27 or so.

In the meantime, it was a real crapshoot. Definitely something with the word crap in it.

Sometimes I pulled it off, but sometimes… Well, stop me if you’ve heard this one.

For my very first junior high dance, I decided I was going all out. I landed on a variation of a look I had seen in Seventeen– a color scheme much like the above.

The end result was kinda like when you were 6 and you decided to bake cookies. You were out of butter, so you substituted margarine. You were out of brown sugar, so you substituted maple syrup. You were out of flour, so you substituted mashed up corn flakes. You were out of vanilla, so you substituted green food coloring. You were out of chocolate chips, so you substituted Monopoly hotels. You weren’t allowed to use the oven, so you used the microwave. Then you wondered why your mom seemed less than thrilled with a lumpy plateful of burnt green plastic-laced cereal.

Think I’m exaggerating? The outfit consisted of the following:

• Jade green sandwashed silk shell (Remember sandwashed silk? One word: 1989)
• Fuchsia suede miniskirt (I have no idea how I afforded this, but I’m guessing it was on the 95% off rack for a reason)
• Purple suede Mootsies Tootsies flats from the actual factory outlet at the actual factory
• Hot pink clip-on earrings
• And, the piece de resistance, elbow-length wool black and indigo houndstooth gloves
• Yes, gloves

This doesn’t even do it justice.  I’m pretty sure there was a hat.

It was… not a good look.

I realized this… about 3 minutes after I walked into the dance.

But you know what? I’m grown now. You and Maria and Funke and Trang can give me the side-eye all you want. I might look silly, but you don’t pay my bills. So finish reapplying your Bonne Bell and take that side-eye back to the junior high dance.

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