At this point in the course of human events, we’ve all become pretty numb to the corporate sponsorship of just about every aspect of daily life. You can’t attend a religious (or secular) ceremony or even drop your drawers without being exhorted to buy something. Advertising is plastered on so many of our moving parts that it’s become virtually invisible to us– except maybe when the product placement is so blatant that we can’t help but have Truman Show flashbacks.
Biggest Loser Contestant: But-Bob-I-get-so-hungry-in-the-middle-of-the-day. What-can-I-do-to-control-the-cravings.
Bob: Wrigley’sTM ExtraTM Sugarfree Gum may help control appetite, decrease calorie intake and reduce cravings for sweet snacks according to a recent study! And it’s only 5 calories a stick! Whenever you feel the urge to snack, just pop in a stick of Wrigley’sTM ExtraTM Sugarfree Gum or ExtraTM Fruit SensationsTM, in new flavors like MangoTM SmoothieTM and IslandTM CoolerTM!
Biggest Loser Contestant: But Bob, is it approved by the American Dental AssociationTM for the reduction of plaque and the prevention of gum disease?
Bob: What an excellent and completely unscripted question! Wrigley’sTM ExtraTM Sugarfree Gum is a fantastic product that is guaranteed to solve all of your personal problems and certainly won’t give you uncontrollable diarrhea!
This is what TiVo has wrought, people.
But I digress. If you’re on Facebook, it’s hard to ignore the constant stream of advertising on the right side of your screen as you harass old high school classmates and people who share your interest in bodysnatching and grass. Of course, what any individual sees is based on a highly sophisticated algorithm:
IF Female THEN Acai Berry OR Oprah
It’s far as I can tell, Facebook is under the impression that I am both looking for hot young singles and planning my wedding. I also may or may not be pregnant. But at least I don’t have muffin top!
Facebook continued its onslaught of muffin-top and fat-bride taunts. I averted my eyes and tried to remember that saying about rubber and glue. I didn’t spiral into a body-image crisis, nor did I start to diet. But there’s got to be some kind of psychological toll wrought by so many weight-loss images each week.
I’d say that’s about right. To alleviate the stress, please join me in pointing and laughing at the plain old wrongness of some of these ads.
Don't get Botox!
Especially not in your bottom lip, as might be more appropriate for collagen! Especially-especially not if your doctor attempts to inject it with a caulking gun!
Learn about the wrinkle trick that has women born in 1970 looking 25.
- This is Aishwarya Rai.
- She was born in 1973.
- Her secret wrinkle trick is melanin.
Boobs too big? Or possibly too small? Follow this one simple rule! Inject yourself with anabolic steroids and they're bound to get bigger or smaller!
Okay, the last one– not really.
But really.
It’s called target marketing. Or proofreading. Pick one. Either one.
I’ll be here, sipping my Coke ZeroTM and freezing my leftovers in a container from the GladTM Family of Products.
Related posts:
Seriously, change your gender in your FB profile to unstated. It’s the only way to make those ads go away.