Shortly after I posted my last outfit, I happened to flip through a friend’s January issue of Glamour, in which I found this maddening article. “100 perfect outfits that are already in your closet” is just the kind of fashion mag cliche mainstay that this site is hoping to bring to real life. But, uh, really.
No, not really.
The article in question sent me– an avid fashion magazine reader with approximately half a brain– down a familiar path.
First there was Denial. There’s no way in h-e-double-hairsticks that these pieces– half of which are brand spanking new trendy items– are “already in your closet.” And there’s no way that more than half of these looks are going to work on any given body type. (Skinny jeans with a tucked-in shirt? Not on this booty.)
Must be nice.
Then came Anger. The article certainly succeeded at making me want to spend money, so I guess Glamour is doing its part to stimulate the economy. But then it kinda made me mad– I can’t find a good sheath dress or A-line skirt (that fits my hips) to save my life*. Am I doomed without those wardrobe “essentials?” I sure hope not, ’cause at last count, I only have about $230 in cash left to spend on clothing this year– “essential” or otherwise.
Totally awesome!!!! If you own a sheath dress.
I started Bargaining… Come on, this totally counts as a sheath dress, right? Right?
No. Come on, now.
Depression, right on schedule…
…followed quickly by Acceptance. Acceptance of the fact that your average fashion rag will never stop insisting on the myth of the “universally flattering” or what a bargain that “Save” knockoff is**! After all, it’s “only” $445– a mere fraction of the $2800 “Splurge.”
So I’ll take what I like (belted blazer, perhaps?), leave the rest, and keep it moving.
Maybe the Easter Bunny will give me a sheath dress that fits me.
*A situation which seems unlikely, as life-and-death scenarios go.
**I know I have at least $195 to spend on linen hot pants!
Related posts:
Have something to say? Say it. But remember to be respectful.